An awakening

I took this picture a couple weeks ago one day as I was out exploring in the hills. Today as I was uploading these pictures I realized what a great illustration this picture is to what I am experiencing in my life right now.

Glorious Light! I am discovering the things that matter, the things I love.

Transformation! I am becoming new, I am being molded, shaped, by experience, by love.

Awakening! My eyes are being opened.

I have been going through a season in my life where I have experienced some of the darkest days I have ever known. And there was a point where I wasn't sure if I'd ever see light again. But the light is shining, brightly now, leading me forward. And I am thankful!

The thing with light though, is that it makes the darkness obvious. And darkness is powerful. But light is stronger! Light disrupts darkness.

Oh what a journey!

Questions of opportunity

So as I sit on the eve of a surreal, joyous, saddening day, I find myself filled with questions. Some deep, some not so deep, and some just down right silly. But still my mind is flooded with questions...

I realize I haven't written in nearly a month, so for that, i must apologize. The last month has been filled with questions. A situation with my job here in Korea arose and I find myself, as we speak, on the eve of my return to the US.

Am I going home for good? Am I returning to Korea? What is in store for the future? Those are questions that I don't have answers for. Maybe in the coming days I will find some answers and some peace of mind as I continue to pray and seek the Lord's guidance and direction.

Was Korea a mistake? Was my time here a waste? Did I get any benefit out of my 6 months here? Those are questions that have resounding answers...Clear answers... My time here was an absolute neccessity in the story of my life. My time here has produced in me a benefit that will echo into the coming years. My time here has changed who I am. And although, I am not perfect and mistakes have been made...I find myself a better person in some ways because of the growth that has taken place in my heart in the last 6 months. So my time in Korea, although not what I had planned, has been a benefit and joy in my life in countless ways...

The relationships I have formed here have changed the way I view love and relationships in general...We were made by God for love. He created us as relational beings, and he desires for our lives to be filled with the joys of relationships. He desires for us to seek out relationships with people and with Him. His love and our knowledge of that love should produce in us an action that is noticable to our world. The people in our lives should be transformed by seeing His image of love in us. And we should be transformed by God's love as we look for the image of God in the love that we receive.

So to my friends I have made here, I want you to know this one thing. I love you all...You have changed me and made me a better person just because of knowing you...

So this Christmas as we reflect on God's immense love for us, may we be changed and grow in love and we love and receive love from the people God has put into our lives, for such a time as this...

Thanksgiving

Well on this Thanksgiving day, I thought I should write a blog about what I am thankful for. Let me preface my list by saying this: Being so far away from home on a holiday like Thanksgiving is harder than I ever thought possible. Thanksgiving is an American holiday, so most people here in Korea have no clue what Thanksgiving even is. As I explain it to my children I am reminded why we celebrate. We celebrate to thank God for all of His many blessings, and to thank Him for bringing us through another year.

So what am I thankful for?

1. I am thankful for the freedom I have to worship God, the freedom that has been fought so hard for and that is still being fought for this very day.

2. I am thankful for the love God has for me and that He never gives up on me despite my constant failures.

3. I am thankful for my family. They mean the world to me, and being the world away has helped open my eyes even more to how amazing they are.

4. I am thankful for my many friends, both old and new. My friends are precious gifts who have impacted my life in countless ways.

5. I am thankful for the internet. Being so far away is difficult, but the internet helps me stay connected with all the ones that I love so much.

6. I am thankful for Love and Relationships. As I love others and receive love I find myself a better person because of the people in my life.

7. I am thankful for good food, and even though I haven't had the traditional thanksgiving food today, I anticipate it in the future and look forward to it.

8. I am thankful for pictures, when I haven't seen peoples faces in so long, I look at my pictures and remember the good times.

9. I am thankful for God's provision. Whenever I seem to doubt my supply I am reminded that God is ever faithful to provide for my needs.

10. I am thankful for sunny days.

My funny students...

Me Jerry and Jeff

Jeff is in front and Jerry is in back...Jeff wants to be a comedian when he grows up...He always makes me laugh

So my middle school students never cease to make me laugh...

So here are a couple stories....

In one class today, one boy wanted to write me a letter. Jeff is his name. So he tore a page out of his book and proceeded to write to me one funny letter....Basically his bad grammar plus his witty remarks made me laugh so hard. one line "you leave me, Oh My God, I cry now" Another line "You must not forget my face, I picture my face" then at the bottom he drew a picture of his face, jerry's face and my face. Then at the very end he said "Jerry is ugly, Jeff is handsome. Don't forget me."

In another one of my middle school classes one boy always wants to use swear words. He doesn't always know what they mean, he just thinks they are funny. Anyway i always repremand him and tell him he can't use those words. One phrase he always likes to say really loudly whenever he is upset is "Jesus Christ" And I always tell him, he shouldn't say that that way. But all the other students think he is saying "cheesie crust" so he says "Jesus Christ" and they all scream "cheesie crust" It's so funny....

Acupuncture, Good friends, and Grown up decisions...

Well Another week has come and gone here in Korea, and as it gets colder and colder, and as it approaches the Holiday season I can't help but reflect on where I have been, where I am and where the future might take me... But let me start this blog with a cultural story...

This past weekend I had my first ever experience with Eastern medicine. I have been having more pain than usual in my leg lately, and a friend of mine has been suggesting that I try acupuncture for some time now. My response to him was always, it won't work, there's no point. But the truth is I have had no knowledge of acupuncture at all in the past. I mean my only opinion of it was why would anyone willingly let anybody stick them with a bunch of needles all at once. it just seemed pointless to me, like there was no way being poked with needles could help anything and would only be horribly painful. We let me just say this, I was wrong!

After much avoidance, I decided to try it, I mean, it can't make it worse, right? Well anyway on Saturday I went and I mean this, it felt like nothing. There was no pain whatsoever as he poked me with about 20 needles and left them in for like 20 minutes. I didn't feel anything. It was actually quite peaceful. The experience started with 10 minutes with a heating pad, which I only guess was for relaxation purposes. Then the "doctor" came in and put the needles in, and turned on a infared heating lamp and he told me to close my eyes, and lay there for 20 minutes. They had serene oriental music playing in the background, and as the needles lay stuck out of my leg, I just felt peaceful energy, relaxation.

And after 20 minutes, the doctors helper lady came in removed the needles, and I got up and got dressed and left. And with my insurance, it cost me about $5. And as for a result, to tell you the truth, it did help a little bit, the pain is a little better. And the weird part is my flexibility in my leg actually improved a little bit as well. It's so weird.

So I spent the last couple days hanging out with some of the most amazing people I have ever met in my life. I mean, I have had good friends in the past, whom I still love very dearly and I am very thankful for the relationships I have had. But some of the best friends I have ever had are people that I have met since coming to Korea. And I am so lucky to be in the company of the people I am with over here. I feel like my outlook and perspective on life, and relationships, and God has changed so much in the last 5 months. And I am greatful for the new perspectives and the opportunity to see things differently.

I have also been reflecting a lot on my decisions in life lately. I tend to be the kind of person that does what I am told, and try's to do what other people expect of me. And sometimes that can be ok, but if all of our decisions are based on other peoples expectations than our lives will never be lived for ourselves.And that is not a selfish concept.

In my mind I have always thought that I have to do what other people want me to because I don't want to be selfish. But the truth is this is my life, and at the end of the day, I am the only one that has to go home with me at night. I can't always be making my decisions based on what other people want me to do.

I think I am learning that it is ok for me to start to grow up and make my own decisions. I think I am realizing that my future can be whatever I want it to be and it doesn't have to be what others expect it to look like. It's my life, and the only expectations I have to look to are God's expectations....There will always be someone to disappoint and I can't always make everyone happy. I can try my best to put selfishness aside, and be compassionate and caring towards other but when it comes to decisions about my life, I am the only one that has to live with those decisions.

My students

Well I realized I haven't posted a blog about my students yet so I figured it is about time....

First let me tell you a little about my job... In Korea kids not only go to school but before and after school they go to specialized academies where they study individual subjects... There are Math academies, science academies, english academies, chinese academies, music academies, and the list goes on and on forever... The kids spend way too much time studying and have hardly any time for themselves...But thats just the way it is in Korea, I asked one of my youngest students about it and he said "teacher, I get up at 5 am in order to be at chinese academy by 6:30, then i go to school, then I come here to study english at 4pm, and then I go to math academy at 7:30, and then I go to my piano lessons at 9pm, than I come home and eat dinner and do my homework." Then I asked, when do you go to sleep. And he replied, "around 1"

So these kids live to study, all in hopes of a better future...Or so their parents wish...

I teach about 75 of the naughtiest funniest children I have ever met... The range in age from 7-16....

Contrary to my former opinion my middle school children are the easiest to deal with...It's my elementary school aged kids that I just can't handle... Before I came here I thought that middle school kids would be harder, but boy was I wrong...I have so much fun in my middle school classes...I love those kids....

Here are some of my students

She thinks she is shy, but really, she's far from it...


Here is one of my crazy elementary students, he always tells me "teacher I am ADHD"



She is one of my more well behave elementary students, she tells me I am her best friend....

Here are some of my youngest students...The kids are Korean 9...So that would make them 7 or 8 in the US.

And these are some of my elementary students actually studying, who would have thought???

Time

I have been thinking a lot about time the last couple of days. I find it hard to believe that it is already November. Time sure does seem to go by quicker the older you get, it's probably because you have more to do. If you think about it, it makes complete sense. More work= less time; and Less work= more time. So when we were kids and had nothing to do it always seemed like the years dragged on, and now when we don't have many moments to breathe we find ourselves wondering where the time has gone.

It seems to me like just yesterday was last november. I was in SD, in school, studying very hard. And I remember the snow and how cold it was every morning as I got up and walked to class. And now a year later I find myself a world away from that place. At this time last year, I never in a million years would have imagined I would be where I am today.

It makes me think about where I will be next year at this time. I am trying my hardest not to make too many plans because I know they always seem to change, but I can't help but imagine where the next year will take me. Where will I be? What will I be doing? Will I be happy? Will I be the same, or will I be different? I am not sure.

All I know is that I want to be the best steward possible of the time that God gives me. I have realized lately how short time can be. Our days are fragile, and we are like a vapor, here today and gone tommorow. And who knows when our time will be up? Only God! I am starting to see each day more and more like a gift. There are so many things to do and see, and I want to experience the full potential that lies in from of me. The possibilities in the future are limitless really, and I want to start living in the NOW, in the PRESENT.

I often get consumed in the PAST. Remembering my failures and my mistakes, and I often loose track of time. I want to stop focusing so much on the past because it is already over with and all I have is right NOW... So I might as well start being consumed by the present. And I believe as I start focusing more on the here and now, I will truly realize the possibilities for my future....

I can't wait to see where I will be next year...